I’m not really one for big gestures, and I’m not really one for public displays of my affection, especially on the internet. I guess I found someone that really deserves the recognition, because I don’t think anyone really knows how much he does for me.
I can assure you that I really didn’t want to find my forever person in college. I was waiting until I was settled down and in a career to fall in love and do the whole 2.5 kids in a big house thing.
I was just out of a messy situation with a guy that I wasn’t really over when on Thanksgiving break last year, I was DM’d on twitter; yeah I’m not kidding, that’s my couple story. For those of you who know me at all you know that’s not my ideal situation either. Anyways, it was a boy from my high school that was cute, extremely innocent, and kind of nerdy, to be honest.
I immediately texted my best friend and asked if I should go out with him. We both decided that it was just dinner and a movie, so why not. I wasn’t really expecting much, but I can tell you that going to dinner that night changed the course of my life. I should have known from day one that he was so kind because our first date was to Horrible Bosses 2; Jay hadn’t even seen the first one, but he didn’t mind.
After the movie, we went to get ice cream at my very favorite place and we talked for hours; it got to the point where we had to go home or our parents would have put out a missing person’s report. At UDF, my coat, I guess, had slipped off my chair, and I had no idea; all I know was that I saw Jay walk behind me, pick it up, and put it back on my chair the way it was. The metaphor for our relationship began in that instance, Jay continues to show up even when I don’t know I need him.
He drove me home, opened the door for me every tme, something he continues to do for me now, despite my pleas. Then he kissed me outside of my house before I went back in for the night. That was the moment I knew that it was all over. My life was not my own anymore, and I was embarking on a journey with this nerdy, tall kid from my high school.
We both went back to our colleges and planned to continue this “thing” we had over breaks and we would be together while we were both home. We fell in love over Skype and the phone, and whenever we could take a weekend off from school.
Through countless tears and me fighting through the distance, he has shown up. Quite literally when he comes to visit me, and more importantly when I call him on the way to meetings late at night and also when I’m bored and need a break from studying.
We said “I love you” pretty early on. I’m not some love struck psycho, but I really felt it in my heart, and so that’s how our story went. (If you want the real story, I accidentally had told that I loved him because, one night, when we were making queso dip, I told him that “I love queso, but not as much as I love you,” and physically ran away from him.) Real relationships are messy, and sometimes don’t come out right, but at least they’re honest.
If he was not my rock and my everyday sanity, I wouldn’t encourage my long distance relationship on anyone. It really, really sucks, and it’s really, really tiring. He, on the other hand, is really, really patient. For those of you who have had the pleasure of getting to know him, or the greater pleasure of being his friend, I ask you to realize the immensity of his loyalty, his selflessness, and his humbling kindness in your life.
I’ve never felt so endlessly supported, made more cat noises, or felt so comfortable being myself as I have with him. He has been there through every hill and every valley, and I wouldn’t want to do life with anyone but him. Most days, I’d rather do nothing with him, than to do something exciting with anyone else. If you’re not the religious type, this is the part where you can stop reading, I’ll spare you the details.
I really feel like God brought this man into my life for a reason. Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” While on my journey of strengthening my faith and finding community in people worth the time, Jay has been there every step of the way guiding me, and offering me advice.
This might sound a bit creepy, but I think that we should all strive to find a love like Jesus’, and Jay is so Christ-like to me. Self-sacrificing, humble, the rock upon which I stand, and so so so comforting.
Our love hasn’t been this electric, can’t-sleep-at-night, heart-wrenching psychotic teen love fest, it’s been a slow, evolving, and very deeply-rooted affection.
At first I felt like I was missing out, on all that teen junk you read about in the movies, but the Buddhists say, “If you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soulmate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.”
I’m so calm with Jay, I’m basically always asleep, so I think we’ve found a good thing here.
He treats me like an absolute princess every second that I breathe, he is my best friend, my boyfriend, and my favorite snuggle buddy.
I’m so glad that I showed up that Friday night in November, because he’s been showing up every day since.