Six months out and *thriving* Post grad is not nearly as horrifying as everyone makes it out to be, if anything it’s just odd at times like why do I know about health insurance or why am I saving so much money??
‘Wow Kylie, talk about your breakup one more time.’I know, I know. I’m not nearly as deranged as you think I am; it was just a pivotal moment that now serves as unlimited metaphors, so don’t worry, we’re bffs, and I know he reads these, so hi Jay (; have some Skyline for me
So, after I was dumped, I was in the whole never going to see the light of day, never love again, never feel that way again *dramatic hand grab towards the screen* mess. I mean every girl is, we’re insane and lovesick and you can’t possibly know what could be on the other side because your security blanket is set ablaze. My friend in the sixth grade used to say this horrible thing like ‘you’ll never be over someone until you’re under someone else.’ So, so gross, but mostly true. Sex aside, I think it takes that first date, or relationship or whatever it is to realize, ‘Hey, I’m actually not feeling so bad and maybe there is life after so-and-so!’
There was a guy that I talked to for a hot minute fall semester of college and I feel SO thankful for him because that was the first time I was like, ‘Ya know? I’m not gonna die alone.’ The thing about love is that there isn’t just one person out there. Maybe you have a soulmate, maybe you don’t, but you can choose to love people, choose as the verb here. Choosing is the intention action and pursuit. There isn’t just one person you’ll have the ability to love, there are thousands.
Shall we continue?
Let’s talk about your senior year of college. Leaving college is like a nasty breakup. A really, nasty, ugly breakup. *cue the sobbing flashbacks from the war* I thought I peaked in college, I thought, ‘Wow these are the best years of my life and I’m going to never talk to my friends again, never find a job or a home, and if I can’t eat Courtside pizza, well then I’d rather be dead.’
My last week of college was a surreal blur of lasts. It sucks, obviously, I’m not going to tell you it doesn’t. None of you are ready to leave, and if you are, well, you shouldn’t be. Like a romantic relationship, you might not be ready for that college relationship to end, but most of the time it needs to end because you’re too comfortable or your individual growth is stunted or it was an abusive relationship.
When I moved to New York, (highly recommend, by the way) I didn’t know anyone or anything or how to ride the subway which severely limited my mobility options to as far as I could walk. I was like wow this sucks so much because I had so many friends and things to do and classes to take and routine in Athens. Me to me: ‘Y did u do this????’
I don’t really know when it happened, I don’t think it happened all at once, I’ve been here for six months now, but somewhere along the line I realized I’d made it, ya know? Like I’m so happy here; deliriously, SO happy here. My favorite spot in the Scripps Amphitheater became my favorite spot at Transmitter Park. Courtside Pizza became Joe’s Pizza, (arguably better). Broney’s became The Woods, Brenen’s became Sweetgreen, Cru became C3 and my old friend’s apartments became my new friends apartments.
I didn’t realize it along the way, but your favorite things about Athens that you’re so messed up about leaving, will become your new favorite places when you start to explore a new city, or rediscover your hometown (save that money, girl!) But, to find your new ‘spots’ you need to leave the house and explore and meet people and try a hundred different book shops before you find The Strand, all thanks to a recommendation from a girl I didn’t know existed when I was still in Athens.
Friendships are by far the hardest thing to leave, and for me, I deeply understood that it would never be like the way it was in college and that we were going to be out of that season I loved with them so much. What I’m SO excited to report back is that there’s hope! When you leave college, you’ll inevitably lose friendships, I know I have and am way better for it. Losing touch or moving on or whatever the situation is natural because people can be situational or seasonal. That is more than okay; some people teach you lessons and then leave and some relationships don’t make sense past college, kind of like Karen from Plant Bio where she exists only for you to copy her notes. Maybe she doesn’t make it to your post grad life, and neither does Jack the Alpha Omega Delta Pi whatever who brought nothing to your life, but the routine weekend 3 am ‘wyd?’
The friendships I’ve kept after college are the sweetest I’ve ever known and I weirdly feel better friends with them even though I haven’t seen them in 6 months or longer and I think that’s because I pursue them because I have to pursue them. Work is insane; some people work to 5, some people work to 8, some people have irregular jobs and you can’t always get your schedules to coordinate depending on the time zone. It’s in every text message, phone call, snapchat, DM, Facebook message and tweet that these relationships grow through our next seasons. I thought we all peaked in college, but I think we’re peaking every next week in our post grad. Seeing them grow and change and succeed tops anything I saw them do in college.
It’s kind of funny who stays around and who doesn’t and who becomes closer and who distances themselves, but the ones who stay are going to be around for the rest of your adult lives, and the ones who don’t will fill up your memory box to tell stories.
Making friends after college is the hardest part in my opinion, but opening yourself up has a lot to do with that. I think we all forget that a best friend isn’t something that happens overnight, and it takes weeks, months years to form those bonds, but you will. Slowly but surely you’ll build a new arsenal of homies and Gisele will become your NY Jack, and Alex will be your NY Gabe and Lindsey will become your NY Carlie and Grace will become your NY Colleen and things will feel more like home. Everyone you meet will be different and bring out a little part of you that you didn’t know you needed or didn’t know was there.
Like look at this naive little graduate, she had NO idea what was in store for her.
I know you feel like your life is ending, but it’s not. It’s going to change and look different, that’s for sure, but you’re going to find new loves and you’re going to live a life you can’t see just yet, but I’m so expectant for you to discover.